Overview
I have a great mattress, soft bedding, a bed that can stay cool or warm, and even some fancy sleep gadgets. But even with all of that, there are still nights when I just can’t sleep well.
So why does that happen?
Well, I’ve learned that even though these tools help, they don’t do everything. I still need to take responsibility for how I sleep. That means doing more of the things I know help me sleep, and trying to avoid the things that mess it up.
Solutions and habits
Even the best bed won’t help if I’m feeling wide awake. For example, deep breathing is great, but it won’t work quickly if I’ve had a lot of strong coffee in the afternoon. I’ll just be lying there, breathing deeply for ages.
That’s why it’s good to have helpful tools, like earplugs for noise or the right mattress for your body. But those things are just part of the solution.
What really matters is what I do during the day and at night. My choices and habits affect how well I sleep. In this article, I’ll share 10 tips that really help me. They might not all work for you, but maybe you’ll find one or two new ideas to try.
The key is to be consistent. Doing these things once in a while might not help much. But doing them regularly makes a big difference.
The short version
Here are my main sleep tips in a nutshell:
Keep your room cool, dark, and quiet.
Make sure both your body and brain are tired.
Get some daylight, especially in the morning.
Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day.
Read or listen to something until you feel sleepy.
Don’t get upset if you wake up during the night. Stay calm and focus on relaxing.
Be careful about what you eat and drink, especially at night.
Don’t bring stress into bed. Write down your thoughts if needed.
Make sure your bed is big and comfortable. Use a spare bed if needed.
And most importantly, give yourself enough time to sleep.
1. The bedroom cave: cool, dark and quiet
I sleep best when my bedroom feels like a cozy cave—cool, dark, and quiet. Not like a game cave, just a peaceful space for sleep.
Temperature
I’ve read a lot about the best bedroom temperature, and everyone seems to have different opinions. But for me, 19°C or cooler feels best, especially when I’m sharing the bed. You might like it a little warmer or colder, and that’s okay—just don’t let your room get too hot, too cold, or humid.
When the seasons change, I make small changes to my bedding. If I feel uncomfortable in bed, I fix it right away. I turn off the heat in my bedroom long before I sleep, and I don’t use warm blankets in the summer. I take a quick shower before bed—it helps me feel fresh and cool.
Even though I have a special bed cooler, I still make sure the room and blankets match the weather.
Noise
I turn off anything that makes noise unless it’s needed. To block other sounds, I use earplugs or soft sleep headphones.
Light
I block out all the sunlight, especially in summer when the sun rises early. I also keep a sleep mask nearby, and I take it with me when I travel.
For me, these three words matter most at bedtime: cool, quiet, and dark.
2. Tired body + tired mind = better sleep
When I was in my early 20s, I had a simple desk job and played a lot of video games. My sleep was terrible.
But later on, I got a job that challenged my brain more, and I also started lifting weights and swimming. I noticed that I slept better on days when both my brain and body felt tired.
So now, every day I try to keep both my mind and body active. On rest days, I’ll still take a long walk and get some fresh air.
Even if you don’t have a busy job, you can keep your brain active in other ways. Try reading, doing puzzles, learning something new, fixing something, or working on a fun project.
Of course, it’s okay to have lazy days. But I try to remember one simple idea: If I’m not tired, I can’t expect to fall asleep easily.
3. Spend time in daylight
That photo of me walking in the forest shows one of my favorite places. My usual morning walk in the park isn’t as exciting, but I try to go into the woods on weekends. It makes me feel really good.
In 2023, I had bad back pain. Both my doctor and my chiropractor told me to walk outside in the morning instead of doing yoga. It helped my back—and I also started falling asleep faster.
Now, I go for a 30-minute walk every morning, and it’s a habit I plan to keep.
Getting sunlight during the day helps your internal clock, or “circadian rhythm,” work better. That means you’ll feel sleepier at night and more awake during the day. Even studies from 2019 and 2022 showed that being outside in daylight can help you sleep better.
One of my favorite podcasts, “Feel Better, Live More” with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, also shares this tip often. So if you want to sleep better, go outside and enjoy the sun!
4. Less lazy Sundays
Everyone says to keep a regular sleep schedule. And it’s true—it helps a lot.
For years, I woke up at the same time on weekdays but had no fixed bedtime. On weekends, I’d stay out late, sleep in late, and sometimes wake up on Sunday with a hangover and watch movies all day.
But then, on Sunday night, I couldn’t fall asleep because I wasn’t tired enough. That would mess up my sleep for the whole week.
Now, I don’t drink anymore, and I try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. If I stay up a bit late one night, I still wake up at a normal time and just deal with getting a little less sleep.
It may sound boring, but it really works. And if you’re just staying up late for no reason, changing this habit could really help.
5. Read yourself to sleep
This is one of my favorite sleep tips: I read in bed until I feel too sleepy to keep my eyes open. Sometimes, I even drop the book on my chest without noticing!
It’s okay if you don’t fall asleep the second your head hits the pillow. That’s normal.
There are two things you can try:
Only go to bed when you feel sleepy.
Go to bed at the same time and read or relax until you feel sleepy.
I usually do the second one. It helps me wind down, even if I’m not tired right away.
If you don’t like reading, you could listen to a story, podcast, or some calming music. You could also try deep breathing or relaxation exercises.
6. Keep calm and carry on
For years, I made my insomnia worse without even realizing it.
I expected to fall asleep right away. But if I didn’t, I would start getting stressed about being awake. Even when I did fall asleep, I’d often wake up in the middle of the night and worry about how tired I’d be the next day.
My partner once told me that my tossing and turning was keeping her awake. I didn’t even know I was doing it!
So I decided to change my attitude. Instead of worrying, I stayed calm. I reminded myself that it’s normal to wake up sometimes and that I’d be okay the next day.
Now, when I can’t sleep, I focus on how comfortable the bed feels and think about something pleasant. I don’t stress out about it anymore—and that helps a lot.
7. Be mindful of what you eat and drink
I don’t think there’s one perfect diet for sleep, but certain things help me:
I stopped drinking coffee.
I don’t drink alcohol anymore.
I eat a big lunch and a lighter dinner.
I avoid sugary or spicy food at night.
I drink lots of water during the day.
I try to eat healthy food like fruits and vegetables.
You don’t have to give up caffeine or alcohol completely, but try to avoid them in the evening. If you drink coffee, stop by lunchtime so it doesn’t mess with your sleep later.
8. Don’t take stress to bed
It’s hard to stop your brain from thinking at night, especially when you’re worried about something. But bringing stress to bed makes it even harder to fall asleep.
Here’s what I do to help with that:
I take a moment during the day to think through problems, so I’m not doing it in bed.
If I have a lot on my mind, I write down a quick to-do list before bed so I don’t forget anything.
If my mind is racing, I do deep breathing to calm myself.
My partner and I avoid serious or emotional talks at night. We save those for daytime when we’re more rested.
I try to talk about my worries with someone I trust instead of keeping them inside.
9. Allow enough time for sleep
Sleep is really important, but sometimes we let other things eat into our sleep time.
I used to go to bed at midnight thinking I’d get 8 hours of sleep if I woke up at 8 a.m. But if I didn’t fall asleep right away, I’d get anxious because I knew I’d lose sleep.
Now, if I want 8 hours of sleep, I go to bed at least 8.5 hours before I need to wake up. That way, I have extra time to fall asleep without pressure.
If I’m watching a movie or working, I pause and leave it for tomorrow. Sleep comes first.
10. Big enough bed and backup bedroom
A few years ago, my partner and I tried sleeping in different rooms. It really helped! We both had more space, didn’t wake each other up, and could set our own room temperatures.
Later, we decided to get a big king-sized bed so we could sleep together and still have space. It made a big difference.
Now, if one of us needs to sleep early or wake up early, we sometimes sleep in different rooms for that night. It helps both of us sleep better.
So here’s my advice: If you and your partner disturb each other while sleeping, get a bigger bed. If that doesn’t help, have a backup bed. And if needed, just sleep in separate rooms—it’s not weird if it helps you rest.
Final word
If you have sleep problems that keep happening, it’s a good idea to talk to a doctor. If you snore, have trouble breathing at night, or feel tired all the time, you might have a sleep disorder.
Getting help could really improve your sleep and your overall health. Don’t ignore it—your sleep matters!